FORGIVENESS AND HEARTBREAK

It was all butterflies from the beginning; money spent on airtime for phone calls in a month was enough to feed a family of three for 5 weeks. Nothing else mattered than my voice, laughter and the bond we shared.

We never really had enough time to spend together, physically, because I had strict parents; there always had to be a valid reason to step out of the house. I couldn't just wake up one morning, throw on some clothes and say "Dad, I am going out to see a man".

So, the few times we got to see each other was born out of the plenty of lies I had to tell my parents or the few hours I had left, after closing from work.

We had our struggles and great moments; we were in love and we worked on each other to be better versions of ourselves. My plan was to get a good-paying job and my own apartment so that I could be single and free from the 24/7 surveillance of my wonderful parents.

Fast forward to two years and a couple of months later in the relationship, Freddy got too comfortable and thought it was normal that we didn't speak for 3 - 4 days.

In fact, he didn't want to get married soon, anymore, cause he felt he wasn't ready all of a sudden. He stopped saying "I love you too", stopped talking about his day and spent more time pressing his phone whenever we got to meet face to face.

We decided to have "the conversation" about his attitude and consistent lack of interest in our relationship.

The thing is, I already built a future with Freddy in my head, so, I believed everything would be fine after talking about it. I believed love was supposed to be our superpower to make things right.

Freddy said and I quote: " I think we can't work out anymore. I need to work on myself because I don't know why I do the things I do. I don't like that I am not making you happy and I want the best for you. It's not you, it's me."

My world literally shattered into pieces. For weeks, I cried; I questioned my character, I felt I wasn't worthy of anyone and I was self-destructive and very heartbroken.

It’s been five months since the heartbreak. It wasn't exactly easy getting over it, but I got over it, eventually; after several intentional efforts and support from friends and family.

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Sometimes I wonder why people change from "love of my life" to "it's me, not you". There are good people and there are shitty people in relationships.

A lot of times, good people get to meet shitty people and these good people end up being better or worse versions of themselves after a breakup.

It's not exactly easy to forget even if you forgive, but what will holding on to that hurt help you achieve? With a little patience, God's grace and prayers, total forgiveness is possible.

Besides, no matter how we love someone, we can not force them into reciprocating the feeling. Letting them go is actually enough love and kindness you can show. So my darling, let them go!

Dealing with heartbreak is a necessary skill every human should acquire.

Have you ever been heartbroken?

If yes, how did you handle it?